An antidote to stress?
You wake up late, the dishwasher needs emptying, the dog wants to go for a walk and you have your first call in ten minutes. You quickly make a cup of tea, set it down beside your keyboard and 45 minutes later realise that it has gone un drunk and it is cold. Sound familiar yet?
You default reaction is frustration or annoyance and the negative bias in our default mode network starts to spin up … BUT instead of heading to the microwave, muttering in annoyance, you take a breath and look around. You see the sun peeking through the window framed by the sunlit hedge, you hear faint sounds of birds outside and you pause. For 30 seconds you aren’t rushing and you allow gratitude to enter the scene.
Gratitude is not about waiting for everything to be perfect, it’s about being mindful enough to noticing the many small things that we can be grateful for, all of the time. The air that we breathe, the feet that transport us, friends, family, health, senses.
An old friend called me this week and we had a catch up. It had been many years and I did not know about his journey with it’s challenges and successes. During our conversation he told me that one of the mantras that he has is using the words thank and you for his footsteps, thank, you, thank you and so on. I was super inspired by this simple way to be mindful, positive and thankful. At the end of this post you can find out how to connect with Henal who is an amazing life coach.
Positivity Bias
Our brains are trained from an early age towards a negative bias, looking for threats , the sabre tooth tiger, social rejection, the mean boss and so on. This is not a bad thing, we have survived this far by staying safe and avoiding threats but our lives are much safer already and we can enjoy a more positive bias by practicing small moments of mindfulness and gratitude. By practicing every day we are using the neuroplasticity in our brains to develop new pathways, positive ways of thinking, looking for wins and joy, not just threats.
The psychologist Martin Seligman found that by writing down three things that went well (and why) each day, happiness increased and depressive symptoms were decreased (read about it here). Try this, and focus on the small things and the big things:
- The feeling of the shower on your skin
- The taste of an apple or that (luke warm?) cup of tea
- The message from a friend
- Completing something ahead of time
- A stranger smiling as they pass
If you fancy a go, try saying thank and you for ten steps the next time you are out for a walk and associate this with positivity and also people and circumstances for which you are grateful.
Henal Chotai is a life coach and can be found here.
If you would like to talk about this or an other theme in your life then contact me here.