Attention Deficit?
Not Really!
I believe that it was the comedian Rory Bremner who first pointed this out, in his amusing style, that the label attention deficit creates the wrong impression. You see, for those of us with ADHD, it’s not a deficit of attention, its an overload of it, we are paying attention to EVERYTHING, ha!
The sound of the keyboard, the movement as an email drops in on the corner of the screen, the beat of the rhythmical music, the heat on my face, contrasting breeze from the noisy fan at my back, the many things on my desk (the fan, golf ball, stones, mouse, pen) and that is before I tell you about the many thoughts that are randomly peeking in around the edges of my consciousness
Attention deficit is not the right description, I think that it is closer to prioritisation or decision deficit (PDHD, DDHD anyone?) This makes sense because ADHD is fundamentally related to the decision-making space in the neural networks associated with the pre-frontal cortex that are referred to as executive function.
I find it amusing that the word executive is used here, others specifically refer to this function as the CEO of the brain: like every CEO makes good decisions? No, but they should be considering all of the data before deciding and this is where the prioritisation or decision deficit causes the problem.
There is a wonderful phrase, I quote it a lot and try to reflect on it often, it’s by an author called Viktor Frankyl (holocaust survivor and psychotherapist) “between stimulus and response there is a space, in that space lies a choice and, in that choice, lies our growth and our freedom.”
It’s a pretty awesome meditation because, not only do I really resonate with that sentiment, I also hugely recognise that MY space, between stimulus and response, is much narrower than the neurotypical. I am spontaneous and impulsive and that makes me great in a crisis but (and even in the crisis) I make mistakes that I later realise were avoidable. Decision deficit means carrying round a burden of regret until that is one can learn to start shedding it through forgiveness, personal development and self-compassion.
I am better at avoiding situations that could lead to bad decision making (for me alcohol is a great example, as is having big conversations late at night) I am mindful and practice meditating on that space between stimulus and response, I also forgive myself more and seek forgiveness for the things that I do that upset me and others and finally, but definitely not last, I am getting better at self-compassion: looking at myself I the mirror and smiling, giving myself (actually) a hug and reminding myself that for my PD/DDHD challenges I also bring great empathy, care, joy and exercise all of my talents in the support of others.
So, the next time someone asks you (as a neurodivergent) “are you paying attention?” try to smile and responds, “yes, to EVERYTHING.” If you are asking as a neurotypical, maybe occasionally instead of asking that question ask, “what are you paying attention to right now and what is going on in across your senses?” Do that with genuine curiosity and maybe you will see that in the distraction there is also beauty, joy and wonder.
Does this resonate with you? I would love to hear what you think and, as always, get in touch if you need support working with neurodiversity.